Baby Makin'

PART ONE:
My wife is pregnant. I don't like "we are pregnant"; it just sounds awkward and unnatural to me. I decided to start writing about it, so here's how it happened...

She is a year and a half older than me, so her biological clock was ticking by the time I hit my 30th birthday. We began having that inevitable talk, but I already knew how much she wanted a baby. I thought about my life, my career, my music, our new country-burb home, and decided that I was ready for the next step in life. I was growing bored of bars and guitars. It was time to be a man and make a baby.

Baby making is great.

We spent a week trying. A call to the stork was made and I think a candle was lit, but those are the only details you're gonna get. Fast forward a week later and Kelly was already taking prenatal vitamins and had quit drinking caffeine and alcohol. It was too early to take the ept, but she's a she and shes know things that hes don't. In fact, I didn't think she was pregnant at all. We only went through one round of "tries" and I didn't feel any different. She complained of stomach pains and late periods, but what the hell does that mean?

She eventually took a couple tests that came out negative and I was like, "Seeee." But about a week later, one of the tests showed a very distinct horizontal line, and a very faint vertical line.

The conversation went something like this...

"There's definitely a cross."

"No way. You can hardly see the line."

"I heard that even if it's a faint line, it means pregnant."

"Google it."

"Yep. Says it right here. Faint line means the hormones arnen't fully developed, but I think I'm pregnant."

"Are you sure? Let me see that thing."

"We can get one of the more expensive digital ones that say 'pregant, not pregnant.'"

"How much are they?"

"Like 15 bucks."

"Let's go."

About 30 minutes later,

"Pregnant, Babe! Pregnant!"

"Well, how accurate are those things?"

"99.9%. It says it on the box."

While I was still looking at the thing, she was calling her mom. I thought, I guess this is really happening and called my folks.